The Kindergarten Decision Part 1: Should I send my twins with summer birthdays at 5 or 6?

While these events happened last year, I never recorded the experience, so here it is!

The twins have summer birthdays. So we as parents got the 'joy' of making the decision on whether or not to send the girls to Kindergarten when they just turn 5 (so they would be the youngest) or when they just turned 6 (so they would be the oldest).

I battled with this decision. I battled for several years actually.

The thoughts running through my mind were things like:
If I send them at an early 5:

• Will they be intellectually ready?
• Will they be socially ready?
• Maybe I should keep them home for another year, why rush it?
• If I have the choice why would I make them be the youngest ones in their class? Isn't being older, cooler?
• All their friends will get their license first! 
• They will start college too early- won't I want them around for another year?
• Will they be immature? Small? 
• I won't have to pay for care
• They may progress faster and be more challenged

If I send them at an early 6: 

•  Will I be holding them back academically?
• Will they be bored?
• Will they just seem too old for their class?
• Will they be huge?
• I will get to have them around for another year, but I would have to pay for care
• They will be the 'cool' older kids, they will get their license first etc!

I read research on the topic, made pros and cons lists, and drove myself crazy. Then I decided that I should just decide. I decided they were going to go when they were 5. Now ironically, most of the research and public opinion out there is that if a parent is questioning their decision, that most folks never regret waiting. However, as a wise person once told me, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. My gut said 5. I then did the non-scholarly thing and sought out research to back up my decision... and not the other side of this internal argument.

Check out what Maria Konnikova had to say about it in The New Yorker, Youngest Kid, Smartest Kid : 

"While earlier studies have argued that redshirted (red-shirted meaning holding them back a year so the child is older and potentially bigger) children do better both socially and academically—citing data on school evaluations, leadership positions, and test scores—more recent analyses suggest that the opposite may well be the case: the youngest kids, who barely make the age cutoff but are enrolled anyway, ultimately end up on top—not their older classmates. When a group of economists followed Norwegian children born between 1962 and 1988, until the youngest turned eighteen, in 2006, they found that, at age eighteen, children who started school a year later had I.Q. scores that were significantly lower than their younger counterparts. Their earnings also suffered: through age thirty, men who started school later earned less." 

So since I ran with my decision to send them at an early 5 (knowing if it was an utter failure I could still sent them to Kindergarten again- albeit at a different school).

Furthermore, in February of last year, I found out that we "won" the lottery of for the Charter school of our choice (pretty scary odds with 40 spots available after sibling preference, and 400 applicants). So if I delayed the entrance into Kindergarten, the chance of us "winning" again may have been slim. This was Kindergarten decision Part I. The next challenge we confronted was that while we "won" a spot at this coveted school, we had only won ONE spot for the twins. Challenge/ Decision Part II will be posted next!

Are Two Babies easier than One?

So everyone always comments on how hard it must be to have twins; especially when they were

babies. Naturally, when we were in the midst of it, I always said "this is all we know" so in essence, we didn't feel like it was any harder than any other baby situation.

Now that we have had another baby with a different 'personality', I think I may understand where this was coming from. If we had two babies like our current one, our experience would have been quite a bit different. Our twin girls may have been quite the exception.
With the introduction of Greta, came the introduction of constant holding, lots of baby carrier usage, and very minimal time in the bassinet, not to mention any other non-human contraption. We never experienced this with twins. There was not much crying, and both of them were quite content in the pack n play, bouncy chair, swing etc., not to mention many night time hours in their beds.

The irony of course is that while I was pregnant this time around, I joked about how, since we were only having one baby this time, that this one would get a lot more holding time and we may even go overboard on the individual baby attention because, well, we only have one baby, not two. And that we might never be able to put her down! Haha...the jokes on us!!

However, I must say that while it might feel like this "one" baby is harder than the two we had first- the first time, we did not have additional children hanging around. I was not prepared for my little 4 year old helpers. Really not prepared. Still to this day, they are so all about Greta, that I notice I am constantly saying things like "Not while I'm changing her diaper! Not while she's eating! Not while she's crying! Not now, she's happy!" It may have taken nearly 7 months, but I have learned that I have to lay off a bit.
Sure, this baby girl is different than Lucy or Stella... she's Greta!! So not only have I stopped complaining to myself how different things are this time, I am marveling at...well... how different things are this time! I can hold my one baby, without worrying about the other one. I can go to the store or park with my one baby in a carrier, and I can change one baby's diaper (and not have another one in line!) In addition, its OK if her sisters always want to play with her; they are going to look out for her and love her, so I need to suck it up and just let them:)

So were two babies easier than one? Maybe; since the two were first. But really...two babies were different than one. And two 4-year olds and one baby? Well, it doesn't really matter what it is, because its us! And we are getting more creative every day...

The Baltimore Riots

So now that things have calmed down I am ready to write.
The day that the girls and I flew back from Minnesota (April 25), Dave came to pick us up at the airport and said he was running late because of the protests going on downtown. Now, knowing D and a few occasions in the past, I thought he was blowing things out of proportion. Later that night I found out after watching the news, that they held the Oriole fans inside Camden Yards until it was deemed 'safe'. Dave made a good call.
So the protests happened on Saturday, someone trashed a 7 Eleven, and I thought that was as dramatic as things were going to get.

We live in downtown Baltimore, but I wasn't worried. To be quite honest, it never even crossed my mind that things might escalate. Less than 36 hours later, the chaos was in full swing. There were peaceful protestors, but all we saw via media channels were fires, lines of police in their riot gear, broken glass, shouting, and a lot of very angry people.

We were glued to the coverage of what was happening. While we did not see anything out our window yet, we heard the endless sirens and countless helicopters overhead. I honestly couldn't believe this was really happening. And it seemed as though our police force and our city had no clue how to handle this.

As night came, more and more people seemed to be coming out, but primarily to do damage. We have a Family Dollar across the street from our house and we were just waiting...
Around midnight, as we were attempting to sleep, we started hearing the cars pulling up to the store across the street. I could hear the chatter of small groups of teenagers saying things like "hey, look, there's the Family Dollar, get your bat". The first group had no success. Soon a new group of teens took a shot with their bats and bricks- they got in. Family Dollar has a security service that monitors the outside of their store after-hours. The man on the intercom tried asking them in his most authoritative voice to leave, but quickly gave up, and was silent for the next 4 hours.

Four hours. Thats how long people kept coming to loot the store across the street that we have found very convenient on many occasions. We called 911. We couldn't get through. We couldn't get through for almost an hour. We finally did and told them what was happening; all they could say was they would see what they could do. We were worried that someone might set the store on fire as they had done to other similar businesses. We kept calling the cops. We continued to have problems getting through. Around 2AM we got through again and they said they would escalate the priority.

The police never arrived.
The store was never set on fire, at least.

We then spent a week hanging out with the national guard.
Crazy. This is looking out on the street from D's work.

I am not going to write in detail as to why the riots happened, as you can easily search Freddie Gray. Many people said that this wasn't what the family wanted, and wasn't the way to get justice. But let me say this. The riots made international news. And as of today (May 17, 2015), there are 6 officers charged with essentially letting a man die in their custody, a man that should probably not have been arrested to begin with.

Things got out of control. But you can't say that they didn't get their point across. Its sad that it came to this. This city already has a pretty rough reputation. Baltimore, let's fix this. Ill be interested in seeing how things progress as I sit in my future home at a location TBD in nice, quiet, Minnesota.

Baby Greta, Welcome

She is three months now.. but here's her story:)

It was a Monday at around 6:30AM when I felt the first dull contraction while lying in bed. By 9, they were consistent at 7 minutes apart. We told the girls that they might have a new baby sister today! They ran and told mom who had arrived just the week before. We brought the girls to school and then Dave and I walked to Tiffany & Ryan's for a quick visit and then to Panera for lunch. The contractions are still 7 minutes apart. 

By 3, we were all back home, and Dave and I figured we probably should pack! Finally around 4PM the contractions progressed to 5 minutes apart. I mistakenly answered a work call around this time- if they only knew why I had to cut it short! Things starting picking up quickly at this point. I packed, showered, ate some soup and before I knew it, the contractions were becoming pretty intense and I started thinking we might not make it.

On the way to the hospital I asked Dave to call Jen and Tiffany (who were going to act as my advocates- we termed them my faux-doulas) to let them know it was time! We arrived at Mercy hospital at 7PM and had to go through the admission process and then triage. In triage I was 7cm and my water broke all over the floor! They quickly walked me to my room, and though it was only minutes later, I was now 10cm and ready to go. I refused the strap-on monitor since I did not want to lie down so I had a nurse pressing a stethoscope with what seemed to be all her strength on my abdomen (probably the worst part of the whole thing!). My fave OB was on call and she let me choose my position, surprise! I only pushed for 10 minutes or so (of course it felt like an hour) but soon met my beautiful baby girl!

Everything went so fast once we were in the hospital that when Tiffany came they told her I was still in triage, but the next time she asked, I had already delivered!

Greta Marie Treiber was born on Monday October 20, 2014 at 8:21PM, 8lbs 4oz, 19 3/4 inches.

Here she is today at 3 months old, 11lbs 10 oz!! Time flies!

Holidays in MN brings cheer and winter woes

Apparently I set this as a "scheduled" post, I was a little off on the date:)

A few days after we arrived was our first doctors visit for Miss Greta. She had a cough. They had to
test her for Pertussis (whooping cough) as she did not have her 2 month vaccines yet. Just a little nose swab they said, and of course that is what I was picturing. But really, it was a 6 inch or so long thin wire that they stuck up her poor little nose and into the back of her throat. Yaaaaa! Anyway, she was negative so that's good.

So on we go we go with some normal holiday activities: We made cookies, wrapped gifts, opened gifts, hung with the fam, and of course ate lutefisk and some raw beef with a little raw egg and onion mixed in for good taste. We had a little soiree for Bobs birthday on
Christmas eve and then had a brunch on Christmas morning at my parents with some traditional breakfast fare, sweet treats, and spicy libations. We then proceeded to duplicate our 2013 Christmas day outing and went bowling! Good ol' Sun Ray Bowling Lanes doesn't disappoint. We got the two lanes
at the end so we didn't have to worry about wandering offspring and went at it for our 2 hours of unlimited bowling.

We had our German Christmas celebration with my parents and sis and fam; ate the aforementioned grub of jello fish  and guhuctus and exchanged generosities of the season.

We visited the extended fam too; the cousin lot keeps expanding!!

On New Year's Eve Dave and I hit the Nordeast corridor to watch Paul play in his band "The Drug Budget" as we rang in 2015.

Good times!

First time to Deep Creek Lake

Back in March we 'won' an item we bidded on in a silent auction for the girls' preschool. It was a week at a cabin on Deep Creek Lake in Western, Maryland--- and I don't think anyone saw this one, because we were the only ones who bid and therefore got it for a fraction of what it was worth ($600 for a week, valued at something around $2800)!

Deep Creek is a really popular vacation destination in Maryland all year round with beautiful terrain,
the lake, and ample skiing in the winter. We have wanted to visit for a while and here was our chance for one week, with a 4 bedroom 4 bath lakefront "cabin" to boot.

So we hit the road for the 3.5 hour trip (a breeze compared to our recent cross-country trip) and met my parents at the cute blue house on the lake that exceeded our expectations. There was a well appointed kitchen, big stone fireplace, dining area over looking the lake, a bed and bath on the first floor (which worked nicely for my mom and dad), and 3 beds and 3 baths upstairs. The room with the two twin beds was perfect for the girls with pink beds, sparkly purple curtains and twinkle lights- even their own bathroom. The master was awesome with its own balcony and jacuzzi tub. There was a wrap around deck, its own dock, and an outdoor whirlpool- sweet!

My Dad relaxing by the fire

We had great weather a little more than half the time (and worth noting, NO mosquitoes the entire time). The first several days were beautiful and warm (but not hot). We chilled on the dock, tied up tubes so we could, well, just float, We swam and hiked. On our last day before the cool weather and rain came in Dave, my Dad and I rented wave-runners! I have to say I was surprised that my dad was willing to go- and he seemed to have a great time! I wasn't so sure I "should" go due to the beany baby I was carrying, but no one seemed to think anything of it so Dave and I shared one (we didn't get crazy though, so we kept the bouncing to a minimum).

We were lucky enough to be able to snag a pontoon one day as well. I had scoped out the marina with the best value rentals and they told me that they go quick. We had the pontoon for 4 hours. My Dad and I drove it back to the cabin to pick everyone else up (along with the tubes for towing). We explored almost the entire lake. And even though it was in the 60s, Dave and the girls hopped on the back and went tubing! It was great watching S & L's expressions back there for their first tube ride ever:)

We also went to the county fair that started during our stay. It was raining pretty much the whole time, but all the rides were running and there were no lines for anything. You couldn't really beat the $10 admission ticket that included unlimited rides on everything. We rode rides, ate food, and said hi to many many goats, bunnies, pigs, and cows. It was really fun (despite the weather) and kind of nice that the size was manageable to hit a couple hours. The last night we were finally able to hit the outdoor hot tub that we were finally able to get open- It was a great week!

Mother's Day Weekend- the Story that had to wait

Paul came to visit us for an extended weekend- finally! He hasn’t been out to Baltimore in years (well really
just 2 but it seemed a lot longer)! Dave and Paul hung out a watched some hockey at a bar as men will do on his first night. It was a long night for them and it took a while to drag the hubs out of bed the next day. Which was a big day for us. This was the day that we were finding out the gender of our new baby. What?? Maybe I am a little ahead of my story telling. At this point I was 17 weeks pregnant (now 30 weeks). Even though I am a self-proclaimed slacker of the blog posts, I could not post anything about this until I at least told my extended family in July.. and of course now its a bit after that.

So that Saturday night way back in May...
That evening Jen, Tiffany, and Ryan came over for a little party. A gender reveal party that is. The gender results were in early because due to my ripe maternal age, they do an additional chromosome test called Maternity 21. This tests for some additional chromosomal abnormalities (other than Down Syndrome). The extra result you receive on this test is whether you are carrying a XX baby or an XY baby. I had the results sent to me in a sealed envelope and handed it off to Jen. Several weeks prior, when I told her I was expecting, after her need to jump off the bay bridge had passed (due to the some 28 women she knew were pregnant at the time), she told me about the great gender reveal party trend. I naturally had never heard of this huge trend because I am so out of what’s ‘in’…so true.

So everyone gathered at our house and Jen arrived with a beautiful cake spattered with pink and blue fondant polka dots. I had food and drink and made people wait until dark to cut the cake to find out. We all chose a lea with the color of our guess. The girls and I were wearing pink leas, everyone else was wearing blue. I had been pretty sure it was a boy up until a couple weeks before the party when I started getting the pink vibe… we’ll see!

Dave, Lucy, Stella and I all sat around the dining room table with the cake in front of us. I cut one side, Dave cut the other side of the slice and began to slide it out. The knife slid out first and I saw a smear of blue. I thought to myself right away, bummer, I saw it too early! I wondered if Dave had seen as well. So as I was sitting there already knowing the gender and waiting to see Dave’s face, the entire slice came out. The layers of frosting were pink, pink, pink. What??? LOL It was pink. We are having a girl. Apparently one of the blue fondant polka dots got stuck to the bottom. I was ecstatic. I have everything, girl and I know girls, yay!!! But I know Dave was hoping to even out the playing field and I wanted that for him too, but we are not in control of our little babies and someone gave us another little girl who will be showing her tiny face in October!