Are Two Babies easier than One?

So everyone always comments on how hard it must be to have twins; especially when they were

babies. Naturally, when we were in the midst of it, I always said "this is all we know" so in essence, we didn't feel like it was any harder than any other baby situation.

Now that we have had another baby with a different 'personality', I think I may understand where this was coming from. If we had two babies like our current one, our experience would have been quite a bit different. Our twin girls may have been quite the exception.
With the introduction of Greta, came the introduction of constant holding, lots of baby carrier usage, and very minimal time in the bassinet, not to mention any other non-human contraption. We never experienced this with twins. There was not much crying, and both of them were quite content in the pack n play, bouncy chair, swing etc., not to mention many night time hours in their beds.

The irony of course is that while I was pregnant this time around, I joked about how, since we were only having one baby this time, that this one would get a lot more holding time and we may even go overboard on the individual baby attention because, well, we only have one baby, not two. And that we might never be able to put her down! Haha...the jokes on us!!

However, I must say that while it might feel like this "one" baby is harder than the two we had first- the first time, we did not have additional children hanging around. I was not prepared for my little 4 year old helpers. Really not prepared. Still to this day, they are so all about Greta, that I notice I am constantly saying things like "Not while I'm changing her diaper! Not while she's eating! Not while she's crying! Not now, she's happy!" It may have taken nearly 7 months, but I have learned that I have to lay off a bit.
Sure, this baby girl is different than Lucy or Stella... she's Greta!! So not only have I stopped complaining to myself how different things are this time, I am marveling at...well... how different things are this time! I can hold my one baby, without worrying about the other one. I can go to the store or park with my one baby in a carrier, and I can change one baby's diaper (and not have another one in line!) In addition, its OK if her sisters always want to play with her; they are going to look out for her and love her, so I need to suck it up and just let them:)

So were two babies easier than one? Maybe; since the two were first. But really...two babies were different than one. And two 4-year olds and one baby? Well, it doesn't really matter what it is, because its us! And we are getting more creative every day...

"Where are your Manners??"

I usually think of this phrase being spout out by an adult (usually a parent) when their child burps really loud in public, among other things. While it''s embarrassing, it's not exactly harmful.

Yesterday, Dave was playing outside with our girls. There were two 3-year old girls in the neighborhood that were outside as well. One of the girls hit the other one and the girl began to cry. She ran back to her mom and her mom said "Don't cry, hit her back!"

I was floored on a couple different levels. First, that the mom actually said this to her child (did she actually think that was the 'right' thing to do?); second, that our kids will be influenced by their peers more and more as they grow.

There has been a lot of literature that argues kids are really influenced more by their peers than their own parents (what???? AAAH!). Judith Harris wrote a popular book in the late 90's called the "Nurture Assumption". She argues that "besides passing on genes, parents' nurturing probably has less impact over the long-term than other aspects of children's environment - such as their peers." (pbs.org) When you think about it, it makes sense. In order for a child to survive socially in their environment they tend to take on their peers accents, attitudes, and gestures. This is why a child raised in the US with foreign parents will talk like their peers (American accent) as opposed to their parents. Hmmm... do I want Lucy and Stella to take on the Baltimore accent? :) Is the Minnesota one any better? :)

This does not mean that we as parents don't still have a tremendous responsibility. We may not have total control over their peer situation, but we have some power to place them in a peer environment where they will hopefully learn the things we want them to. So, our neighbor thinks its OK for her toddler to hit back... we will try to keep the girls at a distance (at least while we can).

So back to "Where are your Manners??" and the non-harmful things our kids may do?

While I am guilty of the burp or two (just ask my mom) sans excusing myself- I am proud to say that our little 2 year olds say"please" and "thank you" (frequently 'thank you' for both) "excuse me" (or scuuuuseeee) when they toot, and I sneezed today, and for the first time I heard Lucy respond "bless you"!